the sun is coming
out A4 hand x2 what happens when one sees two opposites as a paradoxical unity:
pure science and pure belief both become impossible (one of my early expressions
of this insight) (HM 1997)
Ha!Man talks about spontaneity 25:00min sitting down at a stream in the Tsitsikamma,
i start to talk about spontaneity as i observe the workings of a spider web
(HM May 2003)
death and life 218 brief thoughts on the downwardness of death and our obsession
with staying alive (M Jul 2006)
inner ecology 190 the (damaged) ecology that is within each one's reach..
(HM Sept 2016)
What is it to be a man 1565 For 10 000 years to be a man meant teaming up
with other men to build a civilization. Now that civilization is in existential
peril, the question presents itself again: what is it then, to be a man? (HM
Sep 2016)
THE NINE PARTS 4956 explaining the nine parts of a HA! performance on the
basis of the "3D analysis" to Joke (HM Jul 2017)
on educating a toddler at the piano 1562 thoughts around music education on
occasion of Mira's first musical expression on the piano (barely) (HM Jun
2020)
winter words 599 it is as if the cold froze my brain, the words come forward
only haltingly, and sparingly, the meaning of winter to clarify (HM Jul 2020)
life, what is life! 2640 how life cannot be captured by words, and how science
and guru's tend to kill it off (HM Mar 2022)
a search on A4
hand some sugestions for life, especially the lesson of searching (HM late
1990's)
arr A4 hand the world is arr....ogant. disillusioned, sheepish (HM late 1990's)
kna 165 word flow with a lot of "a!"s (including kna) (HM Sep 2000)
then it is A4 hand abstract sketch of a lazy afternoon, and then.. (HM Jan
2002)
this i have only now realized A4 hand expressing an insight as to the meaning
of laziness (HM Jan 2002)
breathing 35 on the nature and need of breathing (HM Nov 2003)
underlying 31 this underlying thing.. (HM Sept 2004)
ness 116 fumbling over words after a near-breakdown (HM Dec 2004)
i wish A4 hand somewhere from a deep downer: a wish-list (HM Dec 2004)
god is the past person A4 hand a few insights in an overcrowded city (HM Nov
2006)
now of course it is A4 hand reflecting on humanity's relationship with Time
and Death (HM Jul 2006)
for now it is this A4 hand what is the point of winning an argument? why do
we argue? how do we change? or don't we? (HM Feb 2007)
come to me without the asking A4 hand in the process of finding oneself, you
still call out your neediness (HM Jun 2007)
naked A4 hand on the meaning of nakedness (HM Sep 2007)
airport 95 disjuncted thoughts while waiting the disjuncted landscape of an
airport, somewhere on this disjuncted planet (HM Apr 2009)
jealousy 12 what is it, really? (HM Jul 2009)
the hole in my cookie 204 childhood thoughts on nothingness (JD Jan 2010)
ageing 75 how the meaning of love ages through life (JD Aug 2013)
to time 180 on relating to time with contradictory feelings (JD Jan 2014)
worlds like lines 425 experimental poem on the meaning behind words (JD Jan
2014)
the secret of the universe 214 written while reading a book on the overlap
between religion and science, realizing how both are sidestepping subjectivity,
and are compensating for that by turning symbols into realities (HM Jan 2015)
words of listnessness A4 hand a lot of essnessness (HM Aug 2016)
no gain without forgetting 81 on going through the wall of fear.. (HM Aug
2016)
in this way 121 loose and disjunct ideas creating a somber mood - written
while waiting to board in some airport (HM Dec 2008)
warming hands 146 of cold and the warmth of words and everything that's wrong
with the computer (HM Dec 2017)
insights from the downside 102 on an ambivalent relationship with clichÚs
(JD Oct 2018)
some questions 217 poetic reflection on the nature of questions (JD Jan 2019)
the quest 139 how a deep quest in life is never really over (JD Jan 2019
afternoon nap 189 on the joy of closing your eyes and seeing your thoughts
pass by (JD Jul 2019)
allowance 518 narrative poem on the nature of allowance (JD Sept 2019)
my longing 38 Text with graphic. The power and mysteries of a deep longing
hiding in a flower. (JD Jul 2020)
what comes first 178 everything is in play, but certain things are more foundational
than others. how do i know which is which? (HM Nov 2020)
this moment of soul 352 the question. what soul is. the question is soul.
this searching moment. skyscrapers? when is music soulless? (HM Dec 2020)
not for nothing the 193 we live in spite of half sentences and fade-off meanings
(HM Apr 2021)
the zombie state 271 a poetic effort to give expression to a state of being
in a non-state, as it lacks a beginning and an end (HM May 2021)
the debate A4 hand why is it that the debate is always just between atheists
and believers? where is the third party? (HM Jun 2021)
the universal blot 401 why, is life really such a wonderful thing? what if
this is the one thing that went wrong in the universe. but who am i to ask
such a question? (HM Jun 2021)
i am trying to give words 418 when the flood comes, the brain needs to flow.
where are the words, where is the order that expresses and enables this flow?
(HM Dec 2021)
arachnophobia 167 a phobiatic free association of words and non, unlike any
liking for juices and or disturbances (HM Kan 2022)
against 93 four examples of the essential importance of the dark and difficult
dimension (HM Jul 2022)
t A4 hand dream-style with single letters punctuating creative word-play and
a few rational phrases (HM Aug 2022)
i wish 97 a poem for a morning of despondency, and yet i am not despondent
(HM Sep 2022)
love is limited 103 Starting with "love is limited", each line hooks
on the last mentioned concept and somehow circles back to - and motivates
that - love is limited. (HM Dec 2022)
but i did think of you A4 hand .. and in a very hurry hush you've bushed me
/ unconrollably / four shucks in a bow (HM Feb 2023)
that is nature 238 when does something or an act or a way of being qualify
as being "natural?" a number of qualifications poetically proposed
(HM May 2023)
Side Notes 1 & 2 A5 hand of things going off the charts and trying to
chart them and then.. well.. why not fall off and down completely? (HM Jan
2024)
exclamation mark 124 exclamation marks stand up straight. question marks curve
and bend (HM Mar 2024)
eentweedrie 22
hoekom drie so baie drie is (HM Mei 2001)
my gevrete binnekant A4 hand teks gebore uit 'n moment van depressie, die
sluimerende angs - is my lewe op sand gebou, of nie? (HM Apr 2002)
en dis net hier waar A4 hand iets oor die woordomdompelende konkreetheid van
die hier en die nou (HM Sept 2002)
ek's dom 54 geskryf in 'n tyd van klein en onbenullig voel met net 'n sweempie
van hoop (HM Sept 2002)
deurmekaar se garammel A4 hand vrylopende gedagtes oor die doodloop van liniÙriteit
(HM Apr 2004)
laat spat 68 ek wil jou, wil jou nie, verwarde gevoelens.. (HM Maart 2005)
maar dit maak nie sin nie, man! A4 hand hoekom ek nie dink dat die lewe vir
altyd aangaan nie (HM Apr 2006)
reis ek rerig 242 oor die aard van reis, as jy elke jaar 80 000km om die aarde
wandel.. (HM Nov 2006)
nog al tyd 136 'n kort gedig geskryf in 'n tyd toe die druk van 'n lewe te
maak my inspirasies begin verbysteek het en geboorte aan die twyfel begin
gee het. en tog.. (HM Apr 2009)
Vicks is nie nodig nie 185 frustrasies ten tyde van 'n pandemie (HM Jul 2020)
later 83 of the
journey of losing in order to find again (JD May 2006)
het gaatje in mijn zandkoek 187 De poÙtische inleiding van mijn eerste
dichtbundel 'verandering'. (JD, Jan 2010)
voor de tijd 166 een verhouding tot tijd met tegenstrijdige gevoelens (JD
Jan 2014)
05 PROSE
the
road to reality 572 On meeting a special older man in a bookshop in Antwerp.
He found some profound wisdom in a physical law and shared that with me. (JD,
Jan 2010)
dialogue
between a madman and a madman 1102 madness as the result of emotional
deprivation. one taking refuge in the right brain, the other in the left (HM
Feb 2021)
06 SERIES
Wisdom
Search
Wisdom Search (1) 919 comparing information with knowledge with wisdom,
and reflecting on the nature of wisdom and how we have become so far removed
from it (HM Dec 2012)
Wisdom Search (2) wisdom and Truth 791 The Three Part Conceptual Analysis
(2) - comparing the quest for Truth and the nature of wisdom, how Truth can
be sold but how wisdom is still hard to find and nourish in our age (HM Mar
2013)
Wisdom Search (3) mapping the mind 1116 The Three Part Conceptual Analysis
(3) - suggesting that the mind becomes a map rather than a store holder of
knowledge, domineering our lives (HM Apr 2013)
Wisdom Search (4) mapping the mind - my experience 1519 The Three Part Conceptual
Analysis (4) - telling the story of how my own mind shifted from dualistic
thinking to that of three-dimensionality (HM Jun 2013)
Wisdom Search (5) mapping the mind - a trilogy 1504 The Three Part Conceptual
Analysis (5) - when looking at myself in the mirror, at three dimensions of
being, i feel out the bridge between instincts and the mind, i feel what it
is to be, and to be present (HM March 2014)
Wisdom Search (6) climbing down the tree 1695 finding that language grows
into clusters of words, reflecting different communities, and then asking
if it is possible to connect these clusters, to find a way in which all of
them branch down into a trunk.. (HM May 2014)
Wisdom Search (7) one and two and three 1044 The Three Part Conceptual Analysis
(7) - looking for the simplest yet complicated enough number of structural
elements to base the mapping of the mind on (HM Aug 2014)
07
RECORDINGS
Splatter 03:26
extract from my first ever cello recording - the hour-long improvisation "CelloHello,"
recorded SABC M1A studio, 1999) (HM)
disjointed harpsichord 03:29 a free and ultra-expressive chase across any
notes that might get in the way (HM May 2000)
atonal improvisation #three 04:06 Belligerent sounds and hammerings of both
the piano and the cello (HM May 2000)
Atonal six 02:12 an angry dialogue between two simple motives come and go
in this driving, disharmonious bravura piece (from a series of atonal improvisations,
HM May 2000)
fields 05:06 A fast dancelike piece with erratic moments created by the exuberant
sounds of the bandoneon (HM Jul 2000)
Clatter 04:57 An experimental improvisation for unconvensional piano (HM Nov
2000)
car crash 02:48 creating a sound scape around the Roland XP10 sound "car
crash" (HM Jun 2001)
Weird 04:26 dischordant and disjointed sounds compete for prominence (HM Jun
2001)
water 02:04 An eerie feeling is created by the synth sound of flageolette
tones - it creates the sound of a windy, rusty playpark. Above these rippling
water can be heard (HM Jul 2001, description Lara Kirsten)
fall 01:58 Psychotic electronic sounds "falling" from the sky, while
the cello plays in glissandi (HM Jul 2001)
maddance 02:07 Fast moving mad dance - drunken dancing, circles, falling over
your feet. crashing in the wall. Frantic anxiety that does not know when to
stop. (HM Jul 2001)
busybees 02:07 Literally buzzing of bees. Incessant irritation! (HM Jul 2001)
drops 01:49 Synth drops with added sound effects made by the cello and xylophone
(HM Jul 2002)
goggos 01:52 The synthesized sounds are like insects ("goggos")
buzzing and mating in the night-air. Disturbing to the human ear (HM Jul 2001,
description Lara Kirsten)
newmove 02:53 testing the limits of free layering of sound, searching for
balance with no firm structuring of any kind (HM Jul 2001)
sirens 01:29 The synth sounds are formed to create incessant "siren"-like
sounds. The cello plays some form of melody over the noise. (HM Jul 2001)
watery moods 01:30 The cello becomes a voice that sings through the dense
volume of water. No sense of direction. One is surprised when the music stops.
(HM Jul 2001)
guitar distortions 09:41 experimenting with a Roland XP10 electric guitar
sound - swinging the joy stick as well as two other paramater controls. had
a djol! (HM Dec 2001)
Heartbeat 02:33 sound effects with a heartbeat-like sound at the centre. recorded
during times of my initial explorations with having technology at hand (HM
Oct 2002)
softdrops 03:23 forward-moving sounds that falls like shiny drops into a pond,
somewhere in a forest, with mist drawing through (HM, Oct 2002, descr Lara
Kirsten)
explosive waltz dance 02:41 Percussion, synthesized sounds and finger-clicking
stomp along a whompy waltz (HM Jul 2003)
metallic bubble 08:31 #4 of 5 improvised recordings done with Eric Leonardson
in Chicago. The cello which was channeled through a sound-bending gadget,
sometimes quite unrecognizable. Subsequently I added another layer of conventional
sound. (HM Oct 2004)
survival 05:21 recorded for a stage production around the theme of people
starving as they march through a desert. enough said. (HM Feb 2006)
street walk 09:05 one of three recordings for a dance production, on the theme
of walking. the throughgoing tick-tock sound is surrounded by playful and
sometimes drifting elements, replete with energizing syncopations (HM Mar
2007)
restless walk 09:03 part of an atonal and progressive soundtrack created for
a dance piece on the metaphor of walking (HM Mar 2007)
grey landscape 03:09 A padding sound called "revolving pad" sustains
the melancholy wanderings of both the cello and violin (Veronika Soreide with
HM May 2011)
shadows of the evading tree 08:05 the electric violin and strings feel each
other out in a strange land, touching somewhat wondrous plateaus (Veronika
Soreide with HM Dec 2011)
kcheewck 12:24 sustained african drum beat drives all sorts of whirling and
cheeky sound bits, thickening, relaxing, thickening again as the female voice
starts playing along (HM, Joe vd Linden, JD Aug 2012)
inspiration perspiration 07:10 a philosophical song improvised on request
from an audience member. the theme: that inspiration only (and always) follows
perspiration (HM Sep 2015)
illusion 07:32 what came out between myself and Christopher Pressing in Chicago,
with an array of sound making objects and a text by Ludwig Wittgenstein. In
this first of five pieces, the word illusion features in sometimes humorous
ways (Oct 2015)
future scream 04:46 an X-rated sound impression of the worst to come from
global warming - or the alien feelings associated with it (HM Dec 2019)
souls afloat the waters of the Atlantic 05:16 soundtrack created for the opening
scene of the Jacques Batisda production "As If The Rain Watched Over
Us". layered cellos with percussion. the Atlantic serves as a metaphor
for purgatory that offers souls no resting place (HM Aug 2020)
on arriving at an empty home 07:14 where there was harmony and rhythm there
is now only drifting sludge. with piano, cello and strange padding (HM Apr
2021)
3min 20sec the crack 03:22 there is a way that a bow can make the strings
of a cello to crack, or to sound like a crack or a creaking door or a moaning
animal. all these are indulged in within a set time frame (HM Apr 2021)
3min 20sec the space 03:26 loose-hanging cello phrases in a bed of reverb
creates the impression of hanging around, far from gravity. the atonality
and oft imprecise intonation reinforces the emptiness of space itself - all
recorded within a given time frame (HM Apr 2021)
Afrikaanse moment 08:58 two independent recordings on one evening of load
shedding (power cut) layered together - shifting chords on piano plus an improvised
Afrikaans talk - perhaps a conversation with the subconscious (HM Jun 2021)
arduous healing 19:01 a three-part evocation of the dark inner journey towards
the resolution of deep seated tension. with strings, choir, bells and voice
(HM March 2022)
ek w-w-w-wil jou sê 04:37 as a gift, i received the "Timetosser"
through which one can manipulate a recording with all sorts of repeats, reverse
sound and so on. this experiment is with an Afrikaans voice improvisation
"i want to tell you something" (HM Jun 2022)
load shedding rhythms 03:47 a live performance recording of a lively piece
of cello percussion and voice, yet artfully disturved by a compromised power
supply, an effect often occuring during times of load shedding in South Africa
(HM Jan 2023)
morning voice 04:12 a sustained bed of strings holding a 7th chord carries
melodious and percussive voice sounds in a raw and energetic greeting to a
new day *HM Deb 2023)
winds of autumn 04:52 loose and free-flowing piano and guitar on a bed of
choir voices with intercepting cymbal sounds, drifting through shifting harmonies
(HM Oct 2023)
song of lostness 09:17 String, boys' choir, cello and piano "swim"
(not) with each other in the key of E minor, at sea.. hitting currents of
anxiety and finding an undefined peace (HM Mar 2024)
08
SOUNDTRACKS
arduous healing
19:01 a three-part evocation of the dark inner journey towards the resolution
of deep seated tension. with strings, choir, bells and voice (HM March 2022)
09
DRAWINGS
spook spooky
figures luking in soft-coloured graphic play (HM May 2000)
doggie turned out to be kind of a dog (HM Jun 2000)
van (no idea why i called this "van") (HM Dec 2000)
scatter of line debris against blue (HM Dec 2000)
texture 1 soft coloured textural play (HM Oct 2001)
search loose, from a circle-expanding elements against a dark background (HM
Jun 2003)
granade dark colours of lines and dots suggesting a grenade fruit, or explosion?
(HM Dec 2009)
notaboom mostly afrikaans words scribbled in and around a mental tree that
struggles to find shape. or is just silly. (HM Dec 2009)
reflecting the traditional philosopher in his quest for a composite understanding
of everything (HM Dec 2009)
city witch not intended, but she really looks like she's got the city in her
vice-grip.. (HM Aug 2010)
looking through my head it started with a face and ended somewhat removed
from that, yet the head remained somehow - with all its inner complexities
(HM May 2012)
airship a multi-balloon-ish unfinish-y night sky drifter (HM Feb 2013)
intercorrection spontaneous circles intercircling and then creating dots..
(HM Jul 2017)
language a playful layering out of black lines - free, geometric, thick and
thin - over white, with gray sprays drifting in between - perhaps this is
what thinking "looks" like? (HM Dec 2015)
climate change the complexities and chaos of climate change (HM Nov 2018)
try again drawing of face, snippets of text and layered lines (JD Feb 2020)
life in times of the coronavirus expressed within the shocking first days
of being restricted by the coronavirus crisis. any literal references are
coincidental (HM March 2020)
my longing hand drawing with text - the poem, "my longing." all
that needs to be known covers itself between the petals of this flower.. (JD
Jan 2021)
iMANgination an impressionistic sketch suggesting the flights of fancy of
an older man (JD Apr 2021)
man alone in bed colours by crayon fell from under the blankets (ML Apr 2021)
moments of insignificance play session with Mira - nr 1 and 2 are my own loose
hand water colour moments (while watching her doing her own thing) while a,
b, c is a playful writing lesson (HM and ML Oct 2021)
broken bicycle textural mix of geometrical, line and soft colour elements.
is this a bicycle repair shop? (HM Nov 2021)
scribble (no number) in the beginning, there is only scribbling, and we don't
know what will come of it (HM Apr 2022)
spiral of colour a loose multitextural combination of botanical elements (JD
Jul 2022)
against the dark mixed media impression of colourful flowers and leaves against
a grey-ish dark background (JD Aug 2022)
what a mess you've made scattered elements with a dark water colour background,
plus text as commentary (JD Dec 2022)
thinking man a mysterious world pulls the man inwards. we will never know
what he thinks, but we can follow with with our hands, with our eyes, the
lines on his face (JD Mar 2023)
creepy crawly layered graphic elements with patches of colour (tturquoise
especially) against a white background (HM Jul 2023)
the war the disorganized organization of war in scribbles, figures and lines
(HM Oct 2023)
by hook and by crook loose elements in a spontaneous flurry of line and writ,
digitally colour-touched (HM Apr 2024)
alone two different painted images of a female head facing an open space (JD
May 2024)
cluster mind line drawing of head and shoulder from the side, even though
there was no intention to draw such head (HM Jul 2024)
10
PHOTOGRAPHY
shitklip ("klip"
means "stone" in Afrikaans. the other word you know) (HM Apr 2006)
feet the still life of feet on a carpet (HM Apr 2008)
ghost home treated picture of an abandoned home in the deep woodlands of upstate
New York (HM March 2009)
HA!Man Workshop three reflective faces of school children during a HA!Man
workshop (JD Jan 2011)
three portraits of loneliness someone somewhere in a motel at night, the guitar
and the closed down music shop, the cow and the abandoned school building
(HM, compiled Aug 2021)
11 SLIDE SHOWS
central
South Africa during a difficult year 50 these images from central South
Africa had extra potency during a year we often felt vulnerable and lost (HM
Jul 2024 from Dec 2020)
12
VIDEOS
kicking dust
01:49 in a third reflection, as Nyebho Swartboois feet kicks township dust,
HA!Man speaks on behalf of a predatory civilization which refuses to return
to... dust (HM Oct 2007)
Brooding Sarah 07:01 photos by the HA!Man of people in stolen moments of reflection
along with soundtrack created by the HA!Man. in honour of all our moments
of allowing the mind to sink deeper, searching for the whole of things. .
(HM Jan 2009)
lights in the rain 2 06:58 mystical view from inside a car, while raining
in the Netherelands. the play of reflection and mocing car lights along with
a double layered soundtrack - strings and choir voices (HM Jul 2019)
windscreen rain 04:23 improvised poem in relation to the image of raindrops
sliding on windscreen with Noordhoek beach in background. music track "Autumn"
(HM Aug 2019)
a south african home 04:04 interior images of a typical south african apartheid
era house. guitar effects overlayed by chunks of afrikaans folk songs and
my voice improvising an Afrikaans text around what everybody used to say..
(HM Oct 2019)
musings of a 1 year old 04{21 the little Mira's debut: drawings completely
her own as well as her own solo piano playing. The only foreign addition is
a layer of some trumpet sounds (ML 2019)
spontaneous drawing to guitar percussion 03:38 another jiffy on the guitar
- this time with slapping and clapping, as entertainment for Mira. subsequently
i put a pice of drawing board on another carpet and let the colours of ink
dance to it (HM March 2020)
mr trrrump 02:55 abstract geometry fumbles along with a quirky, yet ominous
soundtrack which supports a mvoice and text message to mr Donald Trump: you
have missed your calling! (HM Apr 2020)
they too, will disappear 05:08 a nature-inspired poem by Joke accompanied
by sounds of birds, crackling leaves and a plucked autoharp. we should be
free to be as a pinkish cloud. it won't last forever. (JD & HM May 2020)
truth distorted 03:53 water colours on an A4 (mostly by 2-yr old Mira le Roux)
are taken as the starting point of a series of added visual effects, until
the original is completely unrecognizable. with original symphonic soundtrack
(HM Jun 2020)
Winds of No Change 06:38 a reflective juxtaposition of windblown plastics
at a neglected dumping site., a street scene in Antwerp and a young man with
impossible dreams in the Karoo town of Beaufort West. (HM Nov 2020)
Chicago Fire 04:22 music originally recorded for a poem on the late 19th century
fire in Chicago used as accompaniment to a live, digital white on black drawing
(HM Jun 2021)
un re la t e d 05:49 the shadows of blinds, a dog that does not know whether
it's left or right, the Old Las Vegas, the Alexandria grave yard and a bicycle
fall.. related? a car being pushed? (HM May 2022)
late night guest room 03:54 four layered voice recordings recorded in a bed
& Breakfast room in East London, the added to three layers of video play
in the same room that responds to the "music" (HM Aug 2022)
Relentless Reflectivity 05:58 the age old questions that keep returning -
why are we here, as the wheel of life keeps passing the goal post of experimentation
and re-orientation - with images of HA!Man art that plays with complexity
and chaotic dances (HM and JD Dec 2022)
she is in this world 10:20 poetic text filmed as it is typed, layered on a
slide show of a forest in the Ardenne, with Mira featuring around, accompanied
by simulated guitar distortions. the world is a mess (HM Feb 2024)
wind woven white the wind can do wonders with clouds over the plains of the
South African interior. photos were taken from one vantage point, carried
along by a windswept violin (Veronika Soreide) and strings improvisation (HM
Mar 2024)
song of lostness 09:33 the recorded piece "song of lostness" was
used as soundtrack for past video material from Table Mountain walks, driving
passes in SA and Canada, the Eiffel Tower and snow in Hogsback, evoking both
the beauty and tragedy of lostness (HM Jun 2024)
13
FILMS
ABC Talk 10:01
sitting on a couch an improvised "talk" happens to revolve around
the ABC. the "talk" is both play-acting and thought, both impressionistic
and expressionist dabbelling with the ABC of a child and the childhood of
the ABC (HM Jan 2021)
coincidental 13:47 a stream of the random and the odd, both visuals and sound,
bric-a-brac over two decades from all over the world. the beauty of chance
(HM Jan 2024)